Strax – part one of the great trio of Victorian detectives! He’s been confusing human genders and attacking everything he sees since a good man went to war, and if the “Damn Moon” meme is a good indicator, we’ve been loving his adorable, somewhat murderous but mostly just over-excitable alien self ever since.
So, uh… right, quotations! He says the BEST things, right? So kick back and enjoy some of the funniest one-liners from your favourite Victorian Sontaran butler.
Available as all the things, and if it is not available as the thing you wanted, I will make that thing.
(Bonus thought for the day: so if Conan Doyle based Watson and Holmes off Jenny and Vastra, does that make Strax Mrs. Hudson or Gladstone?)

(Series: Blink and You’ll Miss It—A Whoavengelock Fic)
Ch3: Partial Revelations
“Bruce.”
Bruce grunted, opened one eye. “Mm?”
“Power’s out.”
“Personally, I don’t need light to sleep.”
“…Right, sorry.”
“Goodnight, Rory.”
“Night.”
—
“Bruce.”
“Alright, I’m awake now. What?”
“It’s snowing.”
“What?” He squinted into the darkness; Rory seemed to have the curtains partway open, because there was a faint light spilling onto the carpet. “Are you serious?”
“One-hundred percent.”
“Weird.”
“Yeah.”
Rory drew the curtains shut again.
“Bruce?”
“Rory.”
“It doesn’t usually snow in summer, not even in Canada.”
“Well done.”
“Well, it does in the prairies, sometimes.”
“Does it?”
“Apparently, yeah. I looked it up before we got here.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“We’re not in the prairies.”
“…No.”
“I’m going to try and get some sleep still.”
“Ok.”
—
“Bruce?”
Bruce yawned, and rolled onto his side. “Mmhm?”
“The girls want to join us.”
“In our bedroom? In the middle of the night?”
“Well, no one seems to be sleeping.”
He listened, and sure enough, he could hear the sounds of voices, and farther away, a door slamming.
“Dare I ask how you know they want to join us? I suppose it’s not just wishful thinking.”

(Series: Blink and You’ll Miss It—A Whoavengelock Fic)
Chapter 2: Bad Communication
Tony Mother-Fucking Stark, 5:17pm
outside the art building. bring your friends if you want
Bruce stared at his phone for a moment, then checked his contacts. Yup, there was “Tony mother-fucking Stark”—he wasn’t sure when the name got into his phone, but he was pretty sure about who was responsible.
Bruce walked over to Rory, who had just gotten back from his last class of the day, and showed him the text.
Rory laughed. “Should I be worried?”
“I hope not,” Bruce said with a smile.
“Well, let me finish what I’m doing.”
“Ok,” Bruce replied. He sat on the edge of his bed, watched Rory clicking, typing.
Rory glanced up. “You going to… Are you gonna ask the girls? If they want to come along?”
Bruce blinked. “Uh… I guess?” He stood up, not moving for a moment.
Rory closed his laptop. “C’mon, man, let’s see if they’re around.”
Bruce followed him out the door, locking it behind them as Rory kept going, and knocked on their door, waiting as Bruce approached. The door opened.
“Oh, hi.” Molly stared at Rory, then, when he didn’t reply, glanced over at Bruce in confusion.
Bruce looked away from Rory, and suppressed a smile. “Hey.”
“Who is it?” came a voice from inside, Martha, and Molly opened the door a little wider as her friend came up behind her, her hair up in a towel. “Oh, hey!” Martha said with a grin. “What’s up?”
Bruce nudged Rory, who straightened abruptly. “You busy?” Rory asked.

(Series: Blink and You’ll Miss It—A Whoavengelock Fic)
Chapter 1
Tony walked out of the school computer lab, his bag bulging full. Just… to borrow, he reasoned, as he tucked a stray wire into an outside pocket. Equipment was for the use of students, after all.
He had spent most of his morning in the huge room; when he flipped open his phone, he realized that he had already missed three out of five of his classes, and what could have been his lunch period. Excellent start to the year. Once he had gone back to his dorm to drop off his backpack and all of his books, he stopped at McDonald’s on the way to the science building.
“One coffee,” he said, slapping a twenty dollar bill on the counter. “Four extra scoops.”
The girl’s brow wrinkled, and her fingers traced the cash register in agitation. “We don’t-”
“Keep the change,” he cut over her protests, sliding the bill toward her; the confusion in her face smoothed into compliance, as she drifted away to the coffee machine.
She wasn’t too bad looking either, he thought, as she pushed the steaming cup into his hand. “Thank you,” he said flippantly, flashing her a bright smile as he strode away. He took a sip of coffee; maybe he’d come back later, and—
Tony gagged. Good God. He stopped walking, raised the paper cup and took another careful sip. What did they put in their coffee? He glanced up at the green-tinted windows of the science building, and turned toward the back entrance. There was only one thing for it, he thought, rifling through his pockets as he shouldered open the glass door. Just two bucks… jackpot. He stopped at a vending machine, and pushed the coins into the slot, pressed the button, and sighed with contentment as the can clattered to the bottom of the machine.
“Long night?” a girl behind him asked, smirking as Tony reached for the can of Red Bull.
“No more so than usual,” he said, pulling the tab open as the girl tossed her long red hair out of her way to peer at the snack machine. He looked at the paper cup in his left hand, and shrugged, and downed half of it. He then took the lid off, and-
-poured half the can of Red bull into his coffee.
“What are you doing?” the girl exclaimed, wrinkling her nose as Tony took a swig of the concoction.
“Mixing drinks. You want the rest of this?” he asked her, holding out the half-empty can.
She laughed, and shook her head as the vending machine rattled; she reached down and pulled out a pack of smarties. “Sugar’s all I need for that.”
Tony threw back the rest of the Red Bull, and smacked his lips. “Mine lasts longer,” he said, and tossed the empty can into the garbage as he walked away.
When he pushed open the door to his class, the teacher was already in full swing. First year general science. He didn’t realize that even existed anymore. He ducked inside, but was disappointed when not a single person acknowledged him. Rude. He looked around for an empty seat. There was one in the back, but he instead made for the seat smack in the middle of the auditorium.
“Excuse me, sorry, coming through.” He pushed through and collapsed into the empty seat dramatically. No one even looked at him.
An hour later, Tony had completed all the levels of every game on his phone, and the teacher was still talking; he was considering writing a new game then and there. “Does she ever shut up?” he said to the boy to his right. Who ignored him. Of course. He looked to his left, at the boy hiding under a mess of curly hair. He was typing away on a laptop, and Tony craned his neck to see what he was writing. He appeared to be looking at some sort of cellular model, and no, that was definitely not what the woman up front was talking about. He clicked something, and the whole structure changed.
“Are those gamma rays?”
All Shall Fade - Pippin’s Song
“Home is behind, the world ahead,
And there are many paths to tread.
Through shadow and the edge of night
Until the stars are all alight.
Mist and shadow, cloud and shade.
All shalll fade, all shall fade.”*(gif belongs to men-of-middle-earth)
LBD/Les Mis: Do You Hear The People Sing
Alternately known as: we’re SO ready for Pemberley
Do you hear the people sing?
Singing a song of anxious fans?
It is the music of a fandom
Who will not be trolled again!
When the beating of your heart
Echoes the tapping of your thumbs
There is a plotline soon to start
When tomorrow comes!-Anne
At least, it would be if it existed. As it is, you’ll just have to make do with this T-shirt. Or hoodie. Or get a sticker. Still pretty cool, right? …right?
I MADE A THING OK
LOVE IT
Available as a T-shirt, hoodie, sticker (I like stickers, do you like stickers? cause I really like stickers), poster, print, and greeting card & postcard (do people even buy these, what)

Arthur is not just a king, he is the Once and Future King. Take heart, for when Albion’s need is greatest, Arthur will rise again.

Arthur is not just a king, he is the Once and Future King. Take heart, for when Albion’s need is greatest, Arthur will rise again.
Two young boys came skipping down the road, one with a short stick held in front of him like a sword, the other, a walking stick, a sort of staff.
Crude imitations of a complex memory. The man shook his head, wisps of white hair spilling about his shoulders, and forced his arm down. He smiled as the pair dashed for the cover of trees; “come, Merlin!” he heard the blonde boy cry as they disappeared.
No one had called him by that name for a millennium.
—-
Epilogue to the final scene of Merlin, season 5, episode 13.